COLIN POWELL VIRUS
Makes its presence known, but doesn't do anything. Secretly, you wish it would.

HILLARY CLINTON VIRUS
Files disappear, only to reappear mysteriously a year later, in another directory.

BOB DOLE VIRUS
Could be virulent, but it's been around too long to be much of a threat.

O.J. SIMPSON VIRUS
You know it's guilty of trashing your system, but you just can't prove it.

BOBBITT VIRUS
Removes a vital part of your hard disk then re-attaches it. (But that part will never work again.)

PAUL REVERE VIRUS
This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack: Once, if by LAN; twice if by C.

POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS
Never identifies itself as a "virus," but instead refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism".

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGAR VIRUS
Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

DAN QUAYLE VIRUS
Their is sumthing rong with yor komputer, but ewe cant figyour utt wut!

FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS
Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.

TEXAS VIRUS
Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

ADAM AND EVE VIRUS
Takes a couple bytes out of your Apple.

AIRLINE LUGGAGE VIRUS
You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

FREUDIAN VIRUS
Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.

STAR TREK VIRUS
Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.

HEALTH CARE VIRUS
Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.