I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
Am I getting smart with you? ....How would you know?
I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
I'm not just a gardener; I'm a Plant Manager.
My Reality Check bounced.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
There are two rules for ultimate success in life.
1. Never tell everything you know.
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
My boss and I have a personnality clash, I have a personnality, he doesn't.