ALP
One of a number of places to ski in Europe. Also a shouted request for assistance make by a European skier on a mountain over here. Appropriate reply: "What's Zermatter?"

AVALANCHE
One of the few actual perils skiers face that needlessly frighten timid individuals away from the sport.
See also:
BLIZZARD, SONTUSION, FRACTURE, FROSTBITE, HYPOTHERMIA, LIFT COLLAPSE.

BINDINGS
Automatic mechanisms that protect skiers from potentially serious injury during a fall by releasing skies from boots, sending the skis skittering across the slope where they trip two other skiers, and so on and on, eventually causing the entire slope to be protected from serious injury.

BONES
Brittle thins of which there are 206 in the human body. No need for dismay, however: There are two bones of the middle ear that have never been broken in a ski accident.

CROSS-COUNTRY SKIING
Traditional Scandinavian all-terrain snow-travelling technique. It's good exercise. It doesn't require the purchase of costly lift tickets. It has no crowds or lines. It isn't skiing.
See:
CROSS-COUNTRY SOMETHING-OR-OTHER.

CROSS-COUNTRY SOMETHING-OR-OTHER:
Touring on skis along trails in scenic wilderness, gliding through snow-hushed woods far from the hubbub of the ski slopes, hearing nothing but the whispery hiss of the skis slipping through snow and the muffled tinkle of car keys dropping into the puffy powder of a deep, wind-sculpted drift.

EXERCISES
A  few  simple  warm-ups  to  make  sure  you're prepared for the slopes:

• Tie a cinder block to each foot with old belts, and climb a flight of stairs.
• Sit on the outside of a second-story window ledge with your skies on and your poles in your lap for 30 minutes.
• Bind your legs together at the ankles, lie flat on the floor; then, holding a banana in each hand, get to your feet.

GLOVES
Hand coverings designed to be tight enough around the wrist to restrict circulation, but not so close-fitting as to allow any manual dexterity. They should also admit moisture from the outside without permitting any dampness within to escape.

GRAVITY
One of four fundamental forces in nature affecting skiers. The other three are: the strong force, which makes bindings jam; the weak force, which makes ankles five way on turns; and
electromagnetism, which produces dead batteries in expensive ski-resort parking lots.
See:
INERTIA.

INERTIA
Tendency of a skier's body to resist changes in direction or speed due to the action of Newton's First Law of Motion. Goes along with these other physical laws:

• Two objects of greatly different mass falling side by side will have the same rate of descent, but the lighter one will have larger hospital bills.
• Matter can neither be created nor destroyed, but if it drops out of a parka pocket, don't expect to encounter it again in our universe.
• When an irresistible force meets an immovable object, and unethical lawyer will immediately appear.

MICROCLIMATES
Weather conditions may vary dramatically over surprisingly small areas in a mountain environment, and a skier should always be prepared to adjust. For example, on a February day when it's -4C and windy at the mountaintop, it may be an early-spring day with heavy showers under his turtleneck, and icy midnight at his toes.

PREJUMP
Manoeuvre in which an expert skier makes a controlled jump just ahead of a bump. Beginners may execute a controlled pre-fall just before losing their balance and, if they wish, can precede it with a prescream and a few pregroans.

SHIN
The bruised are on the front of the leg running from the point where the ache from the wrenched knee ends to that where the soreness from the strained ankle begins.

SKI!
A shout made to alert people ahead that a loose ski is coming down the hill. Another warning skiers should be familiar with is "Avalanche!" which tells everyone that a hill is coming down the hill.

SKIER
One who pays an arm and a leg for the opportunity to break them.

SKIS
A pair of long, thin, flexible runners that permit a skier to slide across the snow and into debt.

SLALOM
A competitive event in which skiers run a course marked out with gates. The word 'slalom' means "slope tracks," and it comes from Norway. So do many other common skiing terms, including oops (a fall), floo (a bad cold), glopp (food served at a mountain lunch spot), bjerk (a show-off), and blammo (collision with a tree).

STANCE
The appropriate posture when you are ready to start skiing. Your
knees should be flexed, but shaking slightly; your arms straight
and covered with a good layer of goose flesh; your hands forward,
palms clammy, knuckles white and fingers icy; your eyes a little
crossed and darting in all directions. Your lips should be
quivering, and you should be muttering "Why?"

THOR
Thcandinabian god of acheth and painth.

TRAVERSE
To ski across a slope at an angle; one of two quick and simple
methods of reducing speed.

TREE
The other method.