Dashing through the snow
On a broken pair of skis,
Down the slopes I go
Bashing into trees.  [OW!OW!OW!]
Please call 911
My face just hit a branch.
This isn't very fun
I caused an avalanch!

(CHORUS)
Anasthetic, anasthetic
Take away the pain
From now on, I'm staying home
I won't do this again!
Ambulance, ambulance
Just ran out of gas
We are stuck in cruise control
And now we're going to crash!

All I see is white
A blizzard's setting in
Watch out for black ice
Alert my next of kin
Over the cliff we go
Gravity starts to work
The friend who talked me into this
Is a great big jerk!
(CHORUS)