If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
What costs nothing, is worth nothing.
The most difficult arithmetic for some is counting their blessings.
Is Walt Disney being held in suspended animation?
The only place that success comes before work is in the dictionary.
Sooner or later, everything is either funny or forgotten.
How come we have onions to make you cry, but, we don't have any vegetables to make us laugh?
The larger the island of knowledge, the longer the shoreline of wonder.
Drive with care, life has no spare!
Be sincere, whether you mean it or not.
Why do irons have a "permanent press" setting?
Is the weather bureau a non-prophet organisation?
Knowledge comes, wisdom lingers
Critics: people who like to write about things that they don't like
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
Why are goods shipped across the sea called cargo, while goods shipped by across the continent are called shipments?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
What's another word for thesaurus?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Why is the word abbreviation so long?
When companies ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
Why is that when the bad guy shoots at Superman he sticks out his chest and lets the bullets bounce off his chest, but when the bad guy throws the gun Superman ducks?
Why do they put braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Just a little reminder: If you have any deep thoughts like these, send them to me
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