#1. Phone conversations last 30 seconds
#2. You know useful stuff about tanks and airplanes
#3. A 10 day vacation requires only one suitcase
#4. Bathroom lines are 80% shorter
#5. You can open all your own jars
#6. Old friends don't care if you've lost or gained weight
#7. When clicking thru the channels you don't have to stop on every shot of someone crying
#8. You can go to the bathroom alone
#9. Your last name stays put
#10. You can kill your own food
#11. The garage is all yours
#12. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
#13. You see the humor in "Terms of Endearment"
#14. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes
#15. Wedding plans take care of themselves
#16. If someone forgets to invite you to something, they can still be your friend
#17. Your underwear costs $7.50 for a pack of 3
#18. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry You don't have to shave below your neck
#19. You don't have to curl up next to some big, hairy guy every night
#20. If you're 34 and single, no one notices
#21. Flowers and duct tape fix everything
#22. Three pair of shoes are more than enough
#23. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day
#24. Car mechanics tell you the truth
#25. You don't give a flip if someone doesn't notice your new haircut
#26. You can watch a game in silence for hours without your buddy thinking "He must be mad at me"
#27. You can admire Clint Eastwood without having to starve yourself to look like him
#28.Gray hair and wrinkles add character
#29. Wedding dress $2000, Tux rental $100 bucks!
#30. You don't care if someone is talking behind your back
#31. You don't pass on the dessert and then mooch off someone else's
#32. The remote is yours and yours alone
#33. You need not pretend you're "freshening up" when you go to the bathroom
#34. If you don't call your buddy when you said you would, he won't tell your friends you've changed
#35. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies
#36. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room
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